Scaring the hell out of the neighbours!

This morning I got up a bit earlier and decided that I would have a good clean up right through the house before showering, as it's my usual cleaning day. The reason I did it before having a shower is because I have cerebral hyper-hidrosis which is very excessive sweating of the head, face and neck. It's incurable and extremely embarrasing and there are times when I just sweat profusely for no reason at all. Very warm weather doesn't help either so that's why I don't 'do' heat.
Anyway, I pulled on a vest and shorts and scraped what hair I have into a pony tail (it resembles an artist's paintbrush and any self respecting pony would not be seen dead with it!). I set about the cleaning and after finishing upstairs, I came downstairs, had breakfast and continued in the kitchen. By this time it was about nine thirty.
The back door was wide open to let some fresh air in and then I heard it! Loud thumping music, but this time it wasn't coming from next door. I went out into the garden and peeped through the fence to find out where the culprit was because I was certain it was coming from a vehicle. I was absolutely right but the cheeky blighter had parked his van on the bit of ground next to the house so out I went, on the warpath to sort him out.
As the music was quite loud I had to raise my voice "Oi, you!" I yelled "Do you know this is private land and not a car park? And turn that music down please, I can't hear myself think!"
He took one look at me, not a vision of loveliness, 5 feet 2 inches, overweight and devoid of make-up, sweating like a pig with a very red face and he turned quite pale!
Then he explained that he had come to do a gas safety check next door to me, and there was nowhere to park so he wouldn't be long, and his Mum and Dad used to own the pub up the road (as if that would make any difference! His Mum and Dad could own Buckingham Palace for all I care).
Anyway, I told him that as long as he was quick and didn't have the van 'bouncing' off the ground with the music, he could park there.
As I came back in, the young man from just round the corner came past. "Hello Danny, off shopping?" I asked. He looked a bit taken aback and said a bit hesitantly "Yes, but where's Sonia? She lives there." "It is me" I laughed and he had to take his sunglasses off to have a good look. "Oh, I didn't recognise you, I'm used to seeing you with your hair down and your face looks different." I had to explain the I hadn't put my make-up on or washed my hair because I was cleaning.
At least I had showered and done my hair and make-up by the time the window cleaner came, otherwise he might have fallen off his ladder! He had a good laugh when I told him about what had happened.