Yesterday I was feeling really down with a huge black cloud hanging over me and I was a bit tearful. too Now this is most unlike me because I am always optimistic no matter how grim things are and having a good cry or feeling sorry for myself are things I do not allow myself to do. They are a waste of time and don't make things any better anyway.
All through my life I have had to hold everyone else and myself up because there has never been anyone to do it but me. Even many years ago when I was married my role was to be a wife, keep house and bring up the children. I wasn't me, I was the engine that kept everything running smoothly with no identity, no feelings and no rights.
Now that I am much older and on my own, I often think how lucky some people are especially those who have been fortunate enough to find a lifelong partner or someone to love them, care for them when they are ill or down and provide for them while treating them as an equal. Don't get me wrong, I am quite happy on my own now, I'm used to it and I can please myslef what I do and when but there are times I feel isolated, especially from my family because they live too far away for me to be able to 'pop in' when I feel like company.
I often think of all my talents that are wasted too. I have always been a very good cook and homemaker and I enjoy gardening as well as being 'domesticated' but apart from my grand daughter who comes every other weekend, I don't get much opportunity to display my talents now. Oh well! I'll just have to keep on teaching her how to cook, sew and garden, at least we can enjoy doing these things together.
Hi Grandma,
ReplyDeleteI hope you're feeling better today.
This is the perfect place to display your talents! Recipes and gardening tips as well as pics of finished projects are always things I look for in the blogs of others.
When I lived alone, and have off and on for most of my life, I too would get sad and lonely.
I joined a penpal group and soon my mailbox was filled with letters from women all over the USA. We started trading pretty stickers for decorating our letters and envelopes. Each week seemed like Christmas because you never knew what was waiting in the mailbox. Recipes are other fun things to trade too.
Spring will soon be here and the sunshine will work wonders for the spirit.
I'm feeling much better today thanks Robin. I'm looking forward to the weekend because I will try to get my grand-daughter to teach me how to get photos on my blog. We will be wrapping a lot of my ornaments for the Scouts jumble sale too - less things for me to dust!
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