My manifesto!

With this being an election year I thought I might as well publish my manfesto as all we are hearing on the news at the moment are the politicians sizing up to each other. We've only had two days of it and I've had enough already so here are some of the changes I would make if I was in charge!
a) No child would be able to leave school until they could read, spell and write without the aid of any gadget. They must also show that they can speak at least six proper sentences without using the usual smattering of grunts, 'f' words and 'innit'. Be able to say 'please' and 'thankyou' when appropriate and show manual dexterity by eating a meal with a knife and fork instead of fingers. This would greatly reduce the number of 18 - 24 year olds who leave school and fail to find work then claim Jobseeker's Allowance until retirement. Employers always prefer employees to have some basic and social skills.
b) Everyone will be paid what they are worth. This may mean that a lot of people (especially MPs) will be paying money back to their employers!
c) There will be no more management. All managers will become general employees as they currently spend too much time in meetings about meetings and as such are non-productive.
d) The father who is called 'Unknown' must have a vasectomy because he has produced too many offspring (according to birth certificates issued) and has failed to pay any maintenance thus leaving it to the taxpayer to provide for his children.
These are just a few of the changes I have planned so I shall work on the rest. It will probably make me totally unpopular so perhaps I won't go into politics after all!